5.1 Money money money.

SPEND NO MONEY.

For three days. That's muh goal.

Which is not so hard unless you're me. And you are, I notice, because your hands are writing this and your eyes are looking at it and WHOA, not making sense.

I was smart today by taking advantage of the Senior Class Bribe, which was a free bagel and coffee if you submit to a little chat about Whether You've Given Yet and all. I haven't, because newsflash, I'm devastatingly poor. But I acted really interested in getting myself one of those donation envelopes, which sort of got me off the hook. Then I had my bagel (plain on everything) and coffee (with soy milk) and enjoyed my stroke of luck. Mondays and Wednesdays sort of make me have to buy lunch, because I'm going to-and-fro from 8-3 with only a 40-minute break, and I am usually tempted by samosas or other Indian food. And an Honest tea, because it's going to be spicy. And I spend a lot of money to satisfy my desire for tasty food, is the truth of the matter.

If I sound sort of weird, like I've been doing work all day, it's because I've been doing work all day.

The thing about not spending money is... it's difficult to leave your apartment. You can't just sit in a coffee shop without feeling like you have to buy something. And a coffee shop is the only place to go and work and be alone. The alternative to my apartment was the library, and respectfully, right now, no thanks. But there's no place where it makes sense to go and not buy something. Everything is centered around consumption. You might as well not exist if you're not shopping. It would be a different story if it were springtime, but alas, Chicago's brief fling with the sun was not meant to last and we're back with the gray-white Standard Edition sky.

Some people have money. Like, they consistently have money. When they go to the grocery store they can buy fancy delicious cheese. They can shop at Anthropologie and wear something everyday that they feel attractive in. They can buy athletic equipment, lots of books, vacations, kitchen supplies from Williams-Sonoma.

I want to be one of those people without having to structure my life around unhappy circumstances for the privilege of wearing a lovely dress on the weekend and using a shiny grapefruit spoon.

This might not happen, I guess.

I am OK with that, deep down.